


Progress

by PeridotWritesFic



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Gentle reality check, Hurt/Comfort, Romantic if you squint, analogical - Freeform, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:05:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeridotWritesFic/pseuds/PeridotWritesFic
Summary: Virgil's having a difficult time adjusting to his new role in the group dynamic.  Set after Accepting Anxiety.





	Progress

Virgil was trying. He’d told them his name, which had been a feat in and of itself.  He’d created the new outfit when everyone else had even including a symbol like the others had.  He’d even taken to spending more time in the ‘common’ spaces of Thomas’s mind instead of keeping to himself in his room.  He was trying to fit in, but it was only making things worse.

He still had days where he riled up Princey.  They often had little spats, some of them even playful, but they occasionally got a bit too personal and too heated to be considered friendly.  Virgil would get annoyed when Princey would call him ‘Anxiety’ or make a dismissive remark, and Virgil would go on the offensive.  He was a fight or flight response, and Princey usually got the ‘fight’ response.  Most recently it had started a vicious argument over whether or not it was pretentious for Roman to even call himself a ‘Prince’ since Thomas was not royalty and, therefore,  neither were any of them. That had not ended well, and Princey was still ignoring him.

He still had days where he frustrated Logan.  The debate they’d had and learning what cognitive dysfunctions were had helped, but it hadn’t miraculously solved the problems. Sometimes Logan would have to repeat his point several times before the anxious trait could even comprehend it, and even then it didn’t always work.  Logan was running out of notecards to write figurative prescriptions on, and after their last argument has snidely suggested that Thomas should get an actual prescription if Virgil was going to be this difficult.

He still had days where he upset Patton.  Patton had tried to be supportive of him, just a few hours ago, asking what he was thinking. And Virgil had opened his big mouth and told him far too much. He’d talked about the fear he had of Thomas losing his friends. He’d brought up that no matter how much good he did there would still be horrible suffering in the world.  Heck, he’d even talked about the times he’d considered self-harm.  Poor Patton’s face had been white as snow by the time he’d caught himself and stopped talking.  He’d looked so broken, sitting there on the couch with a haunted and miserable expression on his face like he’d just witnessed some monster drown a box of puppies. Virgil had fled to his room and stayed there.

A knock on his door startled him out of his cycle of self-recriminating thought.  No one knocked.  Thomas called for him when needed, which was very rare, and the sides just popped up on the rare occasions they needed something from him. Virgil cautiously moved to his door and opened it a crack.  Surprisingly, Logan was on the other side and, more surprisingly, he was holding an indistinguishable plushy under his arm, and a plate of cookies in his hand with a piece of paper dangling precariously from his fingertips.

“Virgil?  May I enter?” Logan asked, his voice loud enough to be heard, but measured, calm, and slow enough not to seem threatening.

Virgil opened the door and let the other side in.  He watched as Logic carefully placed the paper, the cookies, and what was apparently a slightly worn Eyore stuffie carefully at the foot of the bed.

“The cookies and the comfort object in the shape of a Disney character are from Patton.  The note is from Roman.” Logan turned around and faced Virgil. “I insisted on checking on you myself.”

Virgil was taken aback, there had to be some reason for this, but he couldn’t think of any. He’d pissed off Roman and Logan and he’d hurt Patton, why were they sending him gifts and ‘checking on him’?

“You’re wondering why I’m here and why the others are sending you things.  First, let me reassure you that Roman’s note is, if not eloquent, at least thoughtful by his standards and kind. I would not have delivered it if it were cruel. The cookies are chocolate chip, Patton was quite sure those are your favorite.  I suggested a comfort object, but it was Patton’s idea for it to be Eyore and it comes from his collection of textile cartoon characters.”

Virgil was slowly starting to make sense of the fact that this was, in fact, happening and that Logan was trying to explain it, but there were still so many questions.  “Why...?”

“Patton was concerned about you after your...discussion in the Commons earlier. He called on Roman and me to help deduce what was going on and how best to assist you.”  Logan’s lips twitched upwards and he adjusted his glasses.  “I was able to surmise, based on my own observations and the testimony of the others that you might be overextending yourself trying to live up to expectations you think we have of you, and that we have not been as supportive of you as we could be.” Logan gestured to the bed. “We hoped these might help.”

Virgil felt too warm and a tightness around his ribs. The room blurred slightly and he dashed at the moisture under his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, smudging his eyeshadow. 

“I - I don’t...” Virgil took a breath to try and control himself, starring at the floor. “I just don’t want to get people’s expectations up and then disappoint them later.  I’m trying to do better for you guys, but I keep messing up, and that’s not going to get better.” Virgil held open his door, “I’m sorry, you should take that stuff back. I’m not... I’m just going to upset you guys and disappoint you again.”

“You’re right.” Virgil looked up at Logan, the eyeshadow starting to appear under the logical side’s eyes as well. “You will make mistakes, you and Roman will argue, you and I will still have our emotionally compromised debates and you will cause Patton some distress.” Virgil felt his insides turn to ash. “But,” Logan continued, “we will all improve. Roman is trying to use your name more.  I will try to be patient and remember that, while you reason better than either of the other sides, that you are inherently emotional, and try to better appeal to that part of you.  Patton will bounce back to being his chipper self and gain some resiliency in doing so.”

Logan moved to the door, his eyeshadow fading already. “Mistakes are no reason to stop trying. The progress you’ve already made is sufficient reason to continue.” And with that, Logan sank out of the hallway, leaving the items on Virgil’s bed.

 

 


End file.
